Swimming lesson/School issues again

Naya has been taking swimming lessons at the Niti Bag country club. But the other day, she said this:

Are we going to the Lychee Bug Club?

As an aside, I meant to tell you about trying to get our driver's daughters into a government school. If we thought our nursery saga was nightmarish, we got our eyes opened by seeing how much harder it is for lower classes. First he asked me to get a letter from the ministry of human resource development for his daughter. I said that would be a conflict of interest given what I do but that I was happy to go with him to the school and see if I could help in some way. So on a Monday morning, we set out and put ourselves in a live of people at the principal's office. The reality is that the school actually looked clean and impressive (it is a central government school known as a Navodaya, instead of the Municipal Corp of Delhi school his daughter attends now) and the people in line looked well dressed and working class. I could see how this would be a school he and his family aspired to.

When the principal saw me and I said I was there to get the little girl beside me into school, she said: "This must be your maid's daughter."
"Driver's," I responded with a fake smile.
"Does he live in Pushp Vihar," she asked referring to the colony.
He lied and said he did. (Actually it's his uncle.)
She asked why he didn't send his daughter for the admission test held the week previous.
"I didn't know about it," he said.
After about 15 more minutes and my begging, she said there was nothing to do but said the child could appear for another test in a week's time.
Back in the car, I let the driver have it for a bunch of reasons: not taking her for the test, waiting until class 3 to get her schooling together, not considering private school even as his kids qualified to attend for free. "But ma'am, if she does well by class 8, they will give her a scholarship of Rs5,000."
"If she attends private school and does well and then goes to college, she can make that every day," I responded.
Next we drove to the offices of the Delhi BJP rep for that area. Another line and everyone seemed to be there to get a letter for school admissions.
A week later, Shruti appeared for the test.
She failed.
And her father is still being boneheaded and won't even let me pay for private school. If I can get her in on a scholarship somewhere, I think he'd agree... So that's my next course of action. Even though I think there is something to the saying that you value something if you are forced to pay for it...

Naya's first day of school

Report from Nitin:
She didn't cry even though a lot of other kids did. She said she played outside and sang songs. And this being a new big school, compared to the playschool where she always took a tiffin, she told Nitin: We ate in a restaurant for lunch. That would be the school canteen/cafeteria. Hah... I might have missed her first day of school but I caught the Nayaisms.

Nursery admissions opus

Everything you could ever want to know about schools, India, admissions and us.

http://www.livemint.com/2008/04/05001858/Wanted-Exceptional-parents.html

Enjoy...

Updates

Everyone wants to know what's happening -- this is rushed since we are late for a wedding BUT...

The maid is now under virtual house arrest until we figure something out. Her aunt doesn't want to take responsibility for her and I won't toss her out on the street (and I also don't have anyone until April 1) so she now sleeps in Naya's room at night. Of course, Naya is still with us...

AND in better news... Naya got into Sardar Patel! We applied to five, she had been rejected from four so this was the last... We are happy and somewhat redeemed but are worried about a few things. It is Hindi medium (although they dont read and write next year anyway so maybe that's okay) and the hours are long (8 am-2 pm, I HATE the mornings with a kid)... But I think compared to the American School, it is a better option? I just worry about her going to school in a place that looks more Dubuque than Delhi. But maybe I am misguided. We are going to check them out this week. I find it so strange that the shortage of schools here forces parents to select a place sight unseen.

Believing

I think I finally figured out why I am so upset about this whole school admissions fiasco... Despite all that frustrates me about India, I have always hung onto belief in the economy, in the country, in its people. Education, of course, serves as the lynchpin of possibility here. A lack of it holds countless people back. Access to it transforms lives. That this key to India's future remains mired in so much muck, from corruption to connections, is deeply troubling and cause to cease believing. Everyone tells me, "No matter where she goes, she will be okay." Or else: "Look at us, we turned out fine."
But despite having strong beliefs about the type of school I want Naya to be in (open curriculum, lots of freedom, little rote learning, no tracing letters or formal instruction), I worry about sending her to a place where only people with connections can enter. At the age of 3.5, you might say she is too young to "get it" but I think it perhaps begins one of the saddest lessons of India will frame her time here -- hard work doesn't pay off. When you need something in life, just call the right person and it's yours. The same can be said of many of the elite schools of the US, for sure. But the public school system is generally strong or can be moved into (also the result of parents' hard work and ethic, presumably). I'd say the values we most want to pass onto our child are compassion for others and ethical values. So I don't feel like I can be part of something that requires currying favour just because we are who are. The moment I have to do that, it is like crossing a morale line and entering an India in which I can no longer believe. And so this whole process is about more than where Naya will go to school but more about whether this place can serve as home for our family, for the short or long term.

Line of the day

Me to co-worker: So I hear you need connections to get your kid into nursery school. Do you have any?
Co-worker (without missing a beat): You think I'd be working here if I did?

School Daze

We went to an orientation at Naya's school today. It is the Navakriti school, founded by the people from the famous Mirambika school, next to the also-famous IIT (which has shared research on preschool education) and NCERT, which is trying tto change Indian schools from rigid to creative. The sessions started off with meditation and a flower offering to The Mother and Aurobindo. I will confess that my first thought was that this wasn't necessarily the type of place for me or my kid and that maybe we should have stuck with a more commercial school.
But then the parents were asked to line up for circle time and we had to clap our hands and sing songs like kids. I warmed up fast. When we were led down a marigold-strewn path that was decorated along the sides with children's artwork and led into the outdoor amphitheatre, I was feeling like I had bought in. Thankfully, I relaxed and nodded in approval as educators detailed the philosophy of "integrated education", combining the child-centered learning I like about Montessori with the freedom movement of Aurobindo Society schools with the focus on nature as a way to nurture of the hippie movement with quantifiable research on how these are the most important years for a human being's intellect formation. It is hard to practice not saying "DON'T" all the time to a child but I certainly would rather embrace the "DO" and "GET DIRTY" philosophy than what I see in so much of child-rearing.
I should explain why we switched Naya from her old school in the first place. It was a wonderful experience when she was 2. Her teacher Alka was loving and really helped Naya in her adjustment. One of our fondest memories in Delhi is of Naya on stage dressed like a bear, swinging her hips, telling the twins dressed as giraffes how to dance better, and singing her heart out about Jinny and Johnny.
But when she moved up to class for age 3, she started bringing homework asking her to colour a banana yellow. When we went to school for the Independence Day celebration, she didn't seem happy to be on stage at all and a representative from a bank droned on and on about the need to save for our kids' education. The same bank snapped pictures of the babies and asked us for our mobile numbers for delivery - which meant they wanted to make another sales pitch in our living rooms. The last straw came during diversity week when the representative for America was... Ronald McDonald.
It was Delhi at its worst.
I begged and pleaded all the marquis schools to let us in - Step by Step, Magic Years, Learning Tree, Ardee. No seats. Why had I not thought of this earlier?
I did what I do whenever I panic. I researched, reported, asked everyone I knew. Thankfully, a woman who randomly met at a birthday party for a colleague's daughter said she had just been to Navakriti, loved it but because of the distance, she didn't enroll her daughter.
Nitin spent one day at Navkriti, while we both observed another Montessori near our house. I don't think we were really familiar with Aurobindo method at this point but we loved all the space to play (it is about an acre, which is really really rare in Delhi) and the fact that they encourage kids to play in water and get dirty. I also liked that there weren't expat parents there (sorry, I know I am one) and that I saw a little girl with a motorcycle racing t-shirt on and I gathered one of two things a) it was a hand me down from an elder brother or b) she was very firm on what she wants to wear and her mother lets it be. I liked that. (So many of these Delhi playschools have Prada on the kids AND the parents.)
Anyway after three hours of orientation today where I heard from the most articulate teachers I have ever encountered in India about why they do this, what they learn (NOT what they teach) I felt hope about Indian education for the first time since I got here. One of the parents even stood up and asked about efforts to integrate classrooms so poor children and rich children could be educated side by side -- and that the learning methods would extend to the less fortunate. Charity by volition in Delhi!! There also is a lot of art and creativity with natural substances like twigs and stones and dyes and flowers. They teach the alphabet not through drill like A is for apple but more through stories.
We were just about to start looking for another school for Naya but alas she misses the cutoff yet again this year. After today, I think another year here -- if all goes as they preach -- is a blessing.