She is staying.
I sat her down and presented four options -- stay at status quo with a major salary increase, stay with a moderate increase and I ask part-time Didi to do laundry and dishes, stay at same salary and I hire another woman part time, or go with our blessing and love. She chose a combo of option 1 and 2. I laid it on thick. I said we loved her like family and that if she had a problem, she needed to tell me. I even told her to look at how Nitin and I fight as a model for how people operate in a house (hah:). I said I worried that if she goes to another household to work, they might exploit her and make sure she doesn't get to eat meat and chocolates and hound after her to open a bank account and take English classes. She laughed and said she also worried about someone new coming to take care of Naya and that Naya wouldn't like that.
She did say she wants to be upstairs by 11 pm, which I have no problems with. I told her that when guests come, we can get the food ready and I can simply microwave. I also told her we will have fewer guests so not to worry so much.
I told her she should still go visit her mother and father, and she said no. I said we can fly you there for a week. She said no. I asked if me and Naya should come. She laughed. "There's no electricity there," she said.
"That's how my father grew up," I said. "That's where we used to stay when we came. We'd be okay."
"I know," she said. "You come from a poor family." (Not quite but I didn't correct her.)
"That is why I keep telling you to take those English classes. Maybe you can be like my father."
She laughed again. I cried, ever the brown guilty liberal expat.