Love?

Every time I write about servant woes, I know I lose at least one reader - my friend Manish. But since his blog has about a million times the hits of this humble project, I will plod on...
We think our temporary maid is having an affair with the servant downstairs. A week ago, when I was in Mumbai, the maid from the ground floor (yes, the whole building is involved) rang the doorbell and told Nitin to follow her. She led Nitin to the door of the boy -- closed. Nitin knocked and our maid answered, while the boy was covered up with a sheet. Nitin said, "Is there a problem?"
She said no. Nitin came back downstairs.
AND DID NOT TELL ME TILL A WEEK LATER. And he happened to tell me on the day that she didn't report for duty until a few hours later. Before calling her aunt (who works for a friend of mine) to check on her whereabouts, I told Nitin to go check upstairs. He found her in the guy's room again. But to be fair, he said the door was open and she was just standing there...
When she came down, she seemed breathless and she had lipstick on. Again to be fair, I often look the same way (but she is half my age and much more svelte...)
I was torn between telling on her and taking her aside and saying 18-year-olds will be 18-year-olds but don't do anything stupid. I did look at her and say "If you ever let anyone in here like that guy, you are in big trouble. I will kill you if anything happens to Naya."
OK, so maybe not the most mature thing to say but I got worried... And I needed her to know that I knew but I didn't want her to run away.
She didn't respond.
A petty aside -- I have been noticing that when we make a meat dish like keema or mutton curry, it seems to go really quick... Is it just a coincidence that this male servant works for a strictly vegetarian family? (Remember I once commited the grave sin of asking the neighbours for an egg when we were baking.)
Anyway, the friend we got the maid from was very helpful. I explained that Felicia will be back in April and that the care Naya has gotten has been good and that I didnt know if I should care what the maid does in her love life -- but she is 18 and in my care so... The friend gave me good advice, saying we need to be responsible and she'd talk to the aunt... And so the aunt is supposed to come by tomorrow to give the maid a talking to. I wonder if she will take her back and if she will resent that I snitched her out...

Nitin-ism for a change

Me (struggling to pay our bills and file taxes): I should have married an investment banker.

Nitin: Me too.

Positive Parenting

Naya: Papa, you did a really good job painting. Mommy, you do a really good job ... working. I am so proud of you!

Moving to India?

Friend of ours are considering moving to India and I just sent the couple the following tips/answers to some of their questions and thought it might help someone else out there...

1) Bring a lot of cash. It is more expensive than you think. I'd say savings of $25,000 should help take care of a car, the down payment for rent (Mumbai is a whole lot more), new furniture...

2) Secure school admissions for your child. Have your company negotiate this as they are much better at it than you ever will be.

3) Get a sense of fair-market rents and rates from over there. Sked time with a broker and hit the ground running as soon as you arrive. Ask neighbours about water and electricity outages.

4) Book a guest house. Your employer might put you up in a fancy five-star. If you have a family, skip it as guest houses will be more comfortable and you are less likely to get sick and you will have more space.

5) Find other returnee families. They are a great source of information. They also will help you find your staff from maid to driver.

6) Get on a list of expats, in Delhi, that's yuni-net or Delhinet but each of the Indian cities has one. Also try Craig's List for deals on flats and used furniture.

7) Make a trip to Costco or Sam's Club, even though I make fun of it... A lot of that packaged stuff and sauces are very expensive here. No shame in Pantene, Aunt Jemima, Annie's mac and cheese.

8) If you are being relocated, add about a month to 6 weeks to whatever they say the eta is for your goods. I have yet to meet anyone who has gotten their stuff on time. Ensure your employer does the negotiation for the release of goods and paying any related bribes etc.

9) Assess your electrical needs - laptops, toasters, video projectors, stereo systems. We came with two large converters (if you need the exact conversions, Nitty can tell you) and they were more than adequate. Buy a bunch of the 220- to 110 converters for a dollar each and sprinkle them around the house.

10) The most important thing you can bring is an open mind and a lot of patience. Nuff said.

A Mitra-ism?

Me (on phone to Bengal Cafe): Ek delivery chahi ye.
Man: Huh?
Me: Delivery (my nose is really stuffed and you know my Hindi)
Man: Ahh yes, jilebi. Aur kya chahi ye?

Naya

Naya: Mommy, I have a surprise. I am going to call Papa "Miss Papa"